braincramp

2003-04-30T08:09:00.000-07:00

hmm.. it’s been a while huh? well.. i’ve been busy.. nah, just kidding.. i’ve been lazy.. well, for those who care, here’s a sum up of what i have been doing lately.. [in chronological order]

april 11
a day i will never forget.. graduation.. [that says it all]..

april 13-18
a very shity week.. or what i consider now as my dark ages.. had a HUGE problem about.. about.. everything.. family, college, depression,you name it.. fortunately, i got throught it all.. :) there’s one thing i learned though: pagrerebelde will not get you anywhere.. [well, maybe to manila.. :)]

april 15
took a bus to la salle to submit my high school card ALL BY MYSELF without my parents knowing.. upto now they have no clue.. so *hush*..

april 19
black saturday concert.. sa wakas masaya naman! we had a “close encounter” [pia's term] with chito and vince from parokya ni edgar.. also, this is the best part, we met rico, japs and the rest of rivermaya.. and i have the pictures to prove it! ang gwapo ni rico grabe!!! naka-chikahan din pla namin si ate moonstar [acel].. ang bait nya..

one minor set back: my shoes which were originally white are now officially brown..

april 21
closing party.. a verse from eraserheads’ minsan was perfect for that day..

sa ilalim ng bilog na buwan
mga tiyan natin walang laman
ngunit kahit na walang pera
ang bawat gabi anong saya

kanya kanyang luto ng hotdog para di maagawan.. kahit nalaglag na sa buhangin, sige kain lang.. lamang tiyan din yan.. wag gawing tubig ang gin! lalo na kung timpla ni eric baka di na makauwi..

nagenjoy ako sobra.. mami-miss ko kayo..

yesterday
just got home from our one week stay at the sbma hotel.. nagpare-paint ng bahay kaya we had to evacuate.. kapag pala nakulong ka sa isang kwarto kasama ng pamilya mo magiging sobrang bonded kayo.. try nyo..

we [me, sche & april] saw the movie “the recruit” starring al pacino and mujee! sorry, colin farrell pala.. hehe.. no violent reactions pls.. ang ganda ganda ganda!!! kaso bakit naman nila niluray-luray si al pacino..

today
woke up to the sickening smell of paint.. i’m nauseous. i’m nauseous.. i’m nauseous.. [filbert from rocko’s modern life, remember??]

helped a friend in need.. :)

***

medyo sinipag yata akong magsulat ngayon ah.. since mahaba haba to, see you next month! hehe.. joke..
tomorrow i'll change my template.. i swear!

2003-04-01T23:58:00.000-08:00

haloo! medyo monthly na yata pagpo-post ko dito ah.. anyways.. i just want to give a shout out to the following:

jandy: salamat sa tanghalian.. salamat sa phoneline..
sche: may future ka pa naman sa gitara.. [take note.. "future"]
she: lintik na slu yan!
kryz: balang araw mabubuo mo ding tugtugin ang "heaven"
fernan: unting praktis lang sa uno dos tres..
april: ako naman sa duyan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yun lang..

2003-03-21T04:54:00.000-08:00

hay.. ang tagal ko ng di nakakapag-post.. been really busy talaga.. it would be really nice to be able to say na ang sarap ng feeling ng ga-graduate.. na tapos na ang lahat.. kakatapos lang ng test, wala ng problema.. mga bayarin na lang, pero problema ni inay yon.. la na kong care..kaso hindi e.. ni hindi ko nga mafeel na graduating na ko .. feeling ko pa nga naguumpisa pa lang ako sa high school.. parang pangbawi yata to sa lahat ng katamaran ko nung previous years.. kung kelan dapat parelax relax na lang ako, dun ako biglang natambakan ng trabaho.. ako yata pinaka busy sa buong room.. sa kin nakasalalay ang pag-graduate namin.. di ako nagpapakafeeling.. totoo, ang dami kong trabaho.. sa monday na lahat kelangang ipasa.. 2 araw na lang.. hopefully matatapos ko yun bago ipagkait samin ang diploma namin.. haaayy.. pero at least malapit na, at sa monday ok na (hopefully talaga, sana sipagin kami ngayong weekends).. para eksakto sa birthday ko diba.. masaya ako..

***

another problem.. that f****ng war between america and iraq.. bakit pa kasi sinimulan ni bush yan.. o kung sino man, di ko alam kung sino talaga sisisihin ko.. sa tingin nila anong mapapala nila sa war na to? wala! sabi nga ni pocahontas "there is nothing to be gained but so much to be lost" o di na?.. basta, this war should have never started in the first place.. dati pinapangarap kong magka-war.. di dahil sa war-freak ako.. nakakainggit kasi yung mga matatanda.. yung mga nakaranas ng giyera.. naging big part sila ng history.. nakakainggit kapag naririnig ko silang magkwento tungkol sa mga nangyari sa kanila.. parang ang colorful ng buhay nila.. lalo na kung gagawan pa ng pelikula buhay mo.. but when this war officially started, natakot ako.. and i was brought back to reality.. masaya ngang may mangyaring malaking event sa panahon mo nang may makwento ka sa mga apo mo.. kaso kung magkakagiyera, makasurvive ka kaya? sigurado bang magkaka-apo ka pa? or kahit anak man lang? malabo din diba? ok na sakin yung edsa 2..

basta sana matigil na habang maaga pa.. bago pa lumaki at may madamay pang iba.. o kaya, kung di talaga nila mapigilan yung pangangati ng kamay nila.. sila na lang ang magaway.. hayaan na ang iraq at america.. paalisin na lahat ng ibang lahi sa bansa nila.. kung ayaw nila, kaladkarin paalis.. sama na nila tatay ko ha.. kainis naman kasi yun eh.. wala namang dahilan para magstay don, ang tigas pa ng ulo.. ayaw umalis.. ang layo daw nila sa iraq, di sila apektado.. oa lang daw kami at napaparanoid lang kami dahil sa tv.. magkatabi lang kaya ang saudi at iraq.. wala akong pake kung nasa dulo pa ng saudi yung kinatatayuan nila.. di pa rin safe.. wala namang dahilan para magstay sya don.. maiintindihan ko pa sana kung kapareho sya ng ibang tao na klangang magtrabaho kasi wala ng makain pamilya nila.. kso di naman kami magugutom.. di naman kami namumulubi.. di naman sya mesesesante kung aalis sya.. sya naman may-ari ng kompanya.. di rin naman sya magmumukang duwag at katawatawa kung pagbabakasyunin nya muna mga empleyado nya.. im sure gusto na ring magbakasyon ng mga yun.. ah basta! dapat umuwi na sya.. pati nanay ko nakakasigawan ko na kahit magkakampi kami dahil sa katigasan ng ulo nya.. ayan, ang haba na tuloy ng entry ko.. sige na nga.. kahit magdadakdak ako dito walang magagawa.. maiinis lang ako lalo kasi naaalala ko.. yun na, tama na.. next time na lang..

2003-03-08T04:59:00.000-08:00

untitled

2003-03-08T04:54:00.000-08:00

my favorite motto(?):
"i can fight my own battle"

my least favorite feeling:
"one against the world"

contradicting eh? but that's like saying a thousand things about me..

2003-02-27T05:58:00.000-08:00

i'm going through my cds and mp3s for the perfect graduation song for our class.. i'm listening to sophie hawkins' as i lay me down.. it's so sad [to be graduating].. i'm crying..

2003-02-19T05:44:00.000-08:00

DUNCAN SHEIK

On A High

I'm on a high, I'm on a high
there's nothing more to it.
We are the sea and the sky
and the blue that runs through it, yeah.

and there are some who say there are so many things I need
so I run or I fight and I crawl or I scream and I bleed
I bleed, I bleed

well, it's a lie it's a lie - don't you believe it.
if you're fine then you're fine - it's all how you see it.
oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.

I'm on a high I'm on a high
and there's nothing more to it
I have the sun, it's a star
why should I refuse it

and there are so many reasons I could give you why I should be down
there's not enough money or time and my love you're not around
around, around

but it's a lie it's a lie - don't you believe it.
if you're fine then you're fine - it's all how you see it.
oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.

you're alive you're alive - how else could you hear me?
you are fine, you are fine - there's nothing worth fearing
'cause there never will be no conspiracy of happiness

I'm on a high, on a high
we are the sea and the sky
I'm on a high, on a high
I'm on a high

It's a lie, It's a lie don't you believe it
'Cause I've tried and I've tried, and I can't really see it
Yeah, I'm trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness
said I was yours, you were mine but I didn't really mean it
and I lied and I lied
and I wish you hadn't seen it
'cause I'm trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness
I'm on a high, on a high, there's nothing more to it, yeah.

2003-02-06T05:53:00.000-08:00

this is a new game.. but it's definetly climbing the charts.. it's the new and improved 123 pass.. same objective and procedures.. but in our version, when you've completed the right cards.. you don't just simply put your hands down on the table.. you ran away with the cards like a maniac and the unfortunate ones hunt you down and pin your hands to the ground.. medyo brutal.. pero masaya.. sobra!

we invented it at school because of.. what else.. boredom! not only that our hands, especially our fingers, got brutally murdered.. halos mamatay matay pa kami sa pagtawa, pagtakbo at pagsigaw! take note.. sabay sabay naming ginawa lahat yon.. grabe!

what made it even better was that our class adviser joined us.. pati sya nakitakbo! grabe talaga! kung saan saan kami nakarating.. pati yung kabilang room napasok na namin.. the few students who were there at the moment were really shocked when they saw three girls insanely chasing another with a teacher running behind them.. then, when they caught me.. i looked at the outraged girls and simpy said, "123 pass".. they laughed.. akala nila hinahabol kami ni sir kasi kokolektahin nya yung baraha.. sumisigaw pa kasi ako ng "ayoko! ayoko!".. that's how peculiar we looked.. basta, ang saya talaga..

btw.. sche, she and april were the three girls.. grabe! kapagod to the max! ang gagago namin! we just couldn't take the boredom.. kaya yun.. kung anu ano naisipang gawin.. basta yun.. masaya.. maingay.. ano pa bang adjective.. basta.. i guess what i'm trying to say is.. we had a good time..

2003-02-02T02:40:00.000-08:00

last night, while i was taking a bath.. i started daydreaming, like i always do.. daydream nga ba? oh well.. anyway, while i was thinking of.. something else that i can't remember now.. my thoughts suddenly but not surprisingly turned to a deck of cards.. i realized that i've been so into it lately.. we can play cards for about 3 straight hours at school just because we have nothing better to do.. and i started to wonder why through all these years i still don't get tired of playing cards.. then i realized, it's not just the cards it's the memories we make while playing them.. then i started to think of the most memorable games we've played.. here's my list:

most memorable game of pekwa: at the beach. silver-copper christmas party. with ber, sep and kre.
*we didn't manage to finish the game because of all the dugasan. pinakamaingay na pekwa sa tana ng buhay ko.

most memorable game of pusoy dos: at Anne Raquel's resort. 2nd year lakbay aral. with ber and tara.
*burog sa min ni ber si tara.. hehe.. :) also after a long time.. dun na lang namin ulit nakasama si ber.

most memorable game of speed: in our room. with either sche or ericka. can't really remember. sorry.
*the loudest game of speed ever played. walang pakundangan sa pagtili.

most memorable game of 123pass: a three way tie.
1. in our living room. with sep and ronald.
*daming nabuking grabe!
2. chai's living room. with avi, erika, kuya alvin, kuya towny and of course, chai.
*dami ring nabuking grabe!
3. avi's living room. with ber, erika, chai and of course avi. tara were you der?
*that god damned lipstick!

most memorable game of bluff: in our classroom. with hernan, sche and she.
*burugin si hernan!

most memorable hula: [it's not a game but i used a deck of cards] in our classroom. hula ko kay chai.
*juicy!

i think i mixed up some of the names. but i swear i remember what happened.

funny how we make wonderful memories just because of little things [especially gumbling materials]. thank God for deck of cards!

2003-02-01T04:02:00.000-08:00

about fri3s post..

because i think in some level, if you actually said it without thinking, it maybe because you really want to say it, subconciously, and you mean it, even just a smidge.

my words exactly whenever my mom and i fight because of some things she says that i'm sure she doesn't really want to.. then she'll try to take it back.. or whenever she implies something that i wouldn't want to hear.. then she'll say that that's not what she meant and that i misunderstood her.. but i won't accept it.. cause i know how to read between the lines and i'm not dumb..

i think implications mean more than those you say directly.. cause as fri3s said.. somehow you mean it subconciously.. your mouth can lie but your subconcious can't..

2003-02-01T00:23:00.000-08:00

on my last post i wrote "more softer".. idiot! i edited it so you won't see it now.. but for those who have, let me defend myself.. i was thinking of another word rather than "softer" cause i know it doesn't match with "more".. duh?! but i can't think of any so i type softer but FORGETING to erase more.. silly me.. :)

***

i need a prom dress or an idea at least.. idon't want what happened last year to happen again.. i want to be prepared.. the prom is in two weeks.. i need help!

***

last night was my lil sis' birthday.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAU! :) she's really cute especially last night on her new birthday dress.. in fact all my sisters are cute.. ka-insecure nga e.. muka akong yaya kapag kasama nila.. ang puputi pa.. pero ok lang.. i'm proud to have such lovely sisters..

2003-01-27T04:51:00.000-08:00

ok.. so about the dream.. i decided not to post it here.. it hurts so much just thinking about it.. in fact i woke up crying because of that stupid dream.. it's about one of my old best friends [hint! hint!].. i miss my friend so much! *sniff* `

***

on a softer note.. we had our dabate today [nasobrahan sa delaying tactics.. ;)].. guess what.. i was one of the two best speakers.. [ang yabang!].. the other one was.. never mind about the other one.. i'm the focus here.. [kaaway ko kasi yung isa.. :)].. unfortunately.. our side didn't win.. di kasi sinunod yung guidelines ;).. but it's ok.. the best man won.. isa lang kasi yung nagdala.. [sabi sa inyo galit ako sa isa e..] but really.. siya lang talaga matino sa kanila.. kabilib talaga.. kaya nga best debater e..

2003-01-23T06:34:00.000-08:00

haaayyyy... just finished fixing my friends blog, girlrocker.. i'm becoming an expert in this blogging business.. it's so hard being great! [haha! :)]

***

saw the ring [japanese version] at school today.. why? because we want to.. hehe.. that's how "democratic" our school is..

but the real question is.. was it scary? and the answer is.. NO! it's like a normal movie.. only there are horrible looking creatures and a cursed tape.. i saw the american version last sunday at my friends house.. again, it wasn't scary.. so i really don't know what's the fuss about.. i'm not being brave or anything.. i just really didn't get scared..

the sixth sense and signs are still the scariest movies for me.. m. knight shamalan is so great at scraring the living day lights out of me.. i really don't like those over done horror movies.. they look corny.. i like shamalan's films cause they leave the scary stuff to your imagination.. and if you have a wild imagination then they will really terrify you.. like they do to me! who knew i'll someday like a movie about aliens [signs]? oh well..

ok.. this is not a movie review blog.. just got carried away.. next time i'll write about my dream last night.. that requires a good thinking and i don't have much time at the moment.. i'm tired.. til then.. tata! :)

2003-01-22T05:56:00.000-08:00

just saw peter pan a while ago.. sarap maging bata ulit..

2003-01-20T07:19:00.000-08:00

today i started feeling the "prom fever".. well.. not as much as those kikay girls who i guess were born to go to the prom..but being the kind of girl that i am [not boyish.. but definitely not girly.. somewhere in between].. i got excited pretty early..

last year i almost missed the prom.. if it wasn't for my mom's nagging.. ["ang hilig mo sa rush!"].. i would have never had my dress made on time.. hindi ako mahilig sa rush ma.. i just get lazy if i don't like what i'm doing.. not that i hate proms.. it's just that last year my friends and i were having.. "problems".. my family and friends are the most important things to me.. and prom will not be all that "magical" if you don't have your best buds with you.. well, we ended up being together that night.. but of course it felt awkward.. la lang.. ang pangit lang ng timing..

but this year, i think it's gonna be better.. i don't have to feel awkward for one thing.. and i don't have to worry about my old friends now [old friends talaga? la lang maisip na ibang term..] it was sooo last year.. :) i have new friends now.. and though i haven't known my friends that long.. it doesn't matter.. sa dinami dami ba naman ng mga pinagdaanan naming bagyo sa loob ng classroom e di ko pa kaya sila lubos na makilala? [alay napaka makata naman! :)]

anyways.. i'm really excited.. i actually started surfing the net for some prom tips.. not those about gowns or make up or those kind of stuff.. tips on how to make prom more memorable.. last prom ko na to.. sigurao naman ok lang na magpaka-kikay ako ngayon noh?!

haaayyy.. i'm so excited talaga.. basta, i have a feeling this year will be different.. it will be magical! it will be memorable! it will be amazing!

and have i mentioned i'm excited? :)

2003-01-18T20:35:00.000-08:00

i saw the cultur show last night, "unang hirit sa 2003".. still don't know why they call it a "cultural" show.. there's nothing "cultural" about it.. but what the heck.. it was fun.. and it's for a good cause [i think].. besides, this kind of things makes me realize how bonded we are as a school.. it's like, no matter how few we are [roughly 400 students and around 20 teachers].. and no matter how isolated we are from the rest of the world [our school stands on top of a mountain].. it's ok cause we have each other.. [drama!].. and we're happy.. we're one BIG happy family.. *sigh* it's so sad to think that we only have a few months left till we graduate.. malapit na kaming umalis.. [huhu..]

***

that's all for now.. i'm starving.. i have to get ready pa for our gala later.. around 2 o'clock.. sinong taong nasa matinong pag-iisip ang maggagala ng tanghaling tapat?! oh well.. later..

2003-01-16T04:25:00.000-08:00

tomorrow is the cultural show.. i was supposed to dance.. but can't.. i'm injured.. lucky me! :)

***

my last entry was really long so i guess it's ok if i make this one short.. [extremely short..]

2003-01-15T02:17:00.000-08:00

two nights ago, my dad started another one of his "father-eldest daughter talks" again. and like many of his talks, this one was about college..

i've already told him a few weeks ago that i've been accepted in la salle. he was really excited and pround and happy and thrilled and all that. as for me, i don’t' really care. still, he started dialling madly on the phone looking for the perfect condo ["on the side where the sun rises not sun sets.. right about on the 8th or the 9th floor"] for his perfect little college girl.

and to show how happy he really is.. last monday night, this is what happened..

my dad asked me if i've made a decision about where i'm going to college and if i haven't he has to cancel his trip to manila to look for a place for me to live in. so i said as slowly and sadly as humanly possible, "well.. i guess.. i really am going to la salle.. cause i'm only on the waiting list of ateneo." *sigh* his response: "good! very good!" and my mom's response: "you made your dad very happy!" [hello?! people! i just told you i've been waitlisted by the only university i like.. how about a little compassion?] then followed was a long litany about him knowing what's best for me and of course his usual deterioration of doctors and/or the college of medicine [my former prefered course, w/c he was the reason why it became "former"] also a "suggestion" that I should take up my law proper in ateneo and one year post graduate course in u.p. during this time, I stayed mostly quiet aside from my occasional blurting out of the words "me.. dabate.. tomorrow.."

don't get me wrong.. my dad is not being pushy or anything. [at least not on purpose] it just seems that way cause he's not the type that supresses his opinion. and he is my dad so he has that privilege.

i guess it's ok to do what my dad wants. not because I'm scared to stand up for what I want to do with my life, but because i trust him. he knows what's good for me. and though i'm the most stubborn person alive, i think we're born to make our parents proud. [there I've said it!] aside from that, he's paying for my education.. so it's the least i could do.. :)

besides he's the one who convinced me to study in regional science high school cause back then, i really didn't want to. but now i really love my school! i actually don't want to leave.

so, i guess i'll learn to love la salle. it is a great school.

and another thing, ever since i learned that ateneo didn’t accept me.. i kinda got.. we'll, hurt. now i'm like "there's no way i'm begging a school to accept me.. it’s their loss; not mine!" [why do people have egos?]

so that's that.. i am now going to de la salle university, take up legal management, after one semester, shift to accounting, take law proper in ateneo and finally, take a year of post graduate course in u.p. i am so good at plannig for my future! *gave myself a pat on the back*

2003-01-11T02:00:00.000-08:00

i'm supposed to be researching for our debate on monday.. but what am i doing right now? nothing! nothing that has anything to do with the debate that is.. i'm so lazy and irresponsible!

funny.. i now what my bad traits are yet i never bother to change them.. oh well.. i guess that's just who i really am.. can't do anything about it.. and don't want to.. everyone is a bit lazy and irresponsible sometimes right? besides, they're just little things.. they can't hurt anybody [anybody but me].. and i'm not about to become the devil incarnate just because of them.. so i guess it's ok..

as for the dabate.. there's always tomorrow.. :)

2003-01-11T00:45:00.000-08:00

arrggh! god damned tag-board!

2003-01-10T22:58:00.000-08:00

hey look! i manage to make a second post! :) there is still hope for me.. i'm not that lazy after all..

2003-01-09T03:56:00.000-08:00

first entry.. hmmm.. so many thoughts bottled up in my head.. better get them out quick.. before i explode.. here goes..

***

whoever said laughter is the best medicine never experienced the healing power of crying..

though some people say it’s a sign of weakness or, in my personal opinion, looks pathetic.. i still can’t deny the fact that crying does tear your problems away..

ever felt that wonderful feeling after a good cry? its like a heavy burden was lifted and feels as if everything’s alright now.. when in fact no problems were really solve or actions really done..

funny how whining and weeping go hand in hand.. the first one lets out all your sentiments and the other your emotions.. they just work wonders..

so, though alone or in front of a best bud.. when in pain, grief, heartache or whatever.. try crying your eyes out.. it’s ok to look pathetic and weak once in a while.. it’s what makes you human..

crying won’t solve your problems or make them go away.. but trust me.. after that you’ll say to yourself.. “i feel much better now.”

***

pagpasensyahan nyo na english ko, ok? corny kasi nito kapag sa tagalog e.. :)